Breaking the Silence
GenX women will not go quietly into the night.
Last week, I found myself in the pages of the Toronto Star, spilling the tea about perimenopause alongside five other brave souls, including two midlife moms I know IRL: TV star Tracy Moore and menopause coach Sam Monpetit-Hyunh. You can find the article here (though you may need to provide your email to read it due to the paywall).
At first, I wasn’t sure how it was all going to go. But, as the week went on, I felt encouraged by the chatter on social and mainstream media outlets leading up to World Menopause Day on October 18th. It seems GenX women don’t want to shut up about it. (Thank goodness for that!)
What struck me most during this process was the diversity of our experiences. From unexpected symptoms to emotional challenges, each woman's journey was unique. Yet, our stories had a common thread of resilience and growth. We could all see the other side of it. As I was quoted in the hilarious video that accompanied the article online, “I keep joking that my f-cks have dwindled with my fertility.”
For many of us from different cultural backgrounds, menopause is not a thing we talk about openly. Women were meant to just grin and bear it. And I know many women who are doing just that. That’s why I’ve chosen to write about my weeks of hormonal depression and non-stop crying, my experience with ADHD and peri (AKA perimenopause-squared!), and what not to say to women experiencing a hard time. Because sharing is what alerts us to the fact that we’re not suffering alone, and that there may be solutions out there.
I’ve been super lucky in that my mom was always very open about her menopause experience. Her famous words were, “This is how I know that God is a man. Because no woman would give another woman menopause and teenagers at the same time!” I think of her generation and how we made fun of her, always fiddling with the temperature. How we joked about her being crazy. And now that I'm in it, I realize how much she may have been struggling without anyone taking her seriously.
There’s still so much to say on the topic until the medical community starts to step up on our behalf. The number of women I’ve talked to who have gone to the doctor feeling like they were losing their minds, only to be dismissed, is wild and unjust. “I was suicidal, and no one asked me about my periods or brought up perimenopause,” a friend said desperately on a recent #WalkWithNad.
As we’re learning, doctors learn very little about this stage of life. Once we’re done with our reproductive value, the medical system just writes us off. But that’s starting to change with conversations like this.
This whole experience has reinforced something I've always believed — talking about this stuff can be LIFE-SAVING. Whether you're approaching perimenopause, in the thick of it, or just want to understand why the women in your life are suddenly fascinated by fan technology, we need to keep this conversation going.
Remember, we're all in this together. And hey, if we can survive puberty and skinny jeans, we can definitely handle this!
PS: I started on progesterone and it’s changing my life!! More to come on that!
Stay fabulous and keep those fans handy,
Nadine